Lunch Time Smack Talk – NFL Picks For Week One

By Columnist Chris DeSantis

So if any of you are like me you love to talk smack about your team to your friends, co-workers, or whom ever. Being in the United States Air Force we have moved around quite a bit. Right now I’m smack in the middle of Buckeye Country. There are tears on everyone’s face in this part of the country. Anyway, back to NFL smack talking.

I work with mostly retired military civilians that come from all over our great country. So, I am not going to give you just the weekly predictions that many writers do week in and week out. I would like to throw a little twist into my predictions. I will give you the teams that we talk about most at our lunch table during the week. I will briefly touch on all of the other games also.

I would like to start off with Big Steve and his sad sad case of a team Cincinnati Bengals. Dude, sorry to do this. But I will have the brown bag available every Monday when you come to the lunch table. Actually, better idea. You should plan your days off accordingly!!! Browns muster up 17 to beat the Bungles. 17-3.

Let’s move on to my friend the Band Geek. Mr. Dirty Bone himself. My God. Dude, pretty crappy luck with your Colts this year. This one hurts. I usually have Manning pretty high on my draft board for our Fantasy League. I do think the Colts live and die by Manning. I do hope to see them stay around until he fully is healthy again. But really Mr. Irsay, owner of the Colts, it’s time to draft a QB to eventually take over for Peyton. If Peyton sits, I see the Texans winning 24-10. If Peyton plays it will be 24-17. Colts

Okay, now to Old Man Mason! I really have to say your team will be around the top 4 of the NFC South! Ya, that’s right! You can never figure out this division. Honestly dude, the only thing for sure is the Panthers will most likely have another losing season. That is only because they are going to let rookie QB Cam Newton have the reigns from game 1. Yes, the Saints are a pretty damn good team. Yes they are only 2 years removed from winning a Super Bowl. But dude, the Seahawks beat them in the playoffs. The Seahawks. I don’t know, about this team. I guess we can put a “Wait and See” tag on them for now. They travel to play the Pack on Thursday to open the season. I say the Pack take this 27-17.

Now, Mr. Clean. Time to go over the Vikings for you. This is the man who use to bust my chops about Donovan. Ha-Ha! Last laugh may be on you now! I do see this team staying in games. But you can’t get rid of Sidney Rice. What was Mr. Wilf thinking? Bad move number 1. Bad move number 2 is bringing in McNabb a year too late. Brad Childress could have been your head coached if they brought in McNabb last year, instead of flying down to Mississippi to grovel for some guy shooting Wrangler Jeans commercials. Good luck getting beat down against the reigning Super Bowl Champions, and good luck trying to stay in games against the Lions. I do not see good things in store for the Vikings this year. I would like to. But your quarterback is washed up, and your star running back has had fumbling problems in the past. He cleaned it up in 2010 with only 1. Previous to that I believe he fumbled 20 times in a 3 year span. Yikes Vikes!! They travel to San Diego to face off against the Chargers. I call it; Chargers 34, Vikings 17.

Honorable mentions will go to a Panther fan that sits at the table. They’re young. That’s the best thing about them I can say. Maybe in a few years you can start talking smack. For now continue to wear your Panthers construction helmet around the office. We can just continue to tell everyone that when you were a kid you use to lick the grape windows on the bus on the way to school. Arizona beats up on the Cats. 28-7.

One Cowboy fan sits with us. Actually his wife is a Cowboy fan. He just likes to talk about tennis. So not going to wish the Cowgirls luck! Jets beat em on Sunday Night Football; 21-17.

Finally let’s talk a little about the Eagles. Yes they are a bit hyped this year. I won’t say over-hyped. I know our QB’s have made some bold statements. I know in order to talk the talk you better walk the walk. So this year, this Eagle fan wants to see that strut that we had back in the 04-05 season when every week I felt amazing going to work and talking about my team. I believe this team can be better than that one. It may take a few weeks into the season to feel the strut coming on. I do believe we have the talent. Can we gel in time to make it happen? That is the question. Igles travel to the Gateway Arch to just make it by the Rams, 34-14.

Here are some quick thoughts on the remaining games:

Atlanta over Chicago. I believe that Atlanta, Green Bay, and Philly are the cream of the crop in the NFC.

I like the Bills this year. There is just something about their QB, Fitzpatrick I like. I have the Bills over the Chiefs.

I like the Jags over the Titans. Hasselbeck still has to get a grip on something other than a West Coast offense.

Jeez! I really hate picking the Steelers. But no Super Bowl Hangover here. I have the Steelers over the Ravens.

I really like the Lions defense this year. If their QB stays healthy, then this is a team on the cusp of the playoffs. However, week 1, I like the home team Buccaneers over the Lions.

I really think the Redskins are the Stinkos of the league this year. I really do not like what the owner has done since he has owned the team. But really I don’t care. They’re one of our rivals. Giants over the Skins.

Seattle vs. the 49ers. In my opinion, 0-0 tie. It’s a wash. The Niners are just playing so they can draft QB Andrew Luck out of Stanford. The Seahawks really need to see if they can try to trade to take Carson Palmer off the hands of The Bungles.

Monday Night Games:

Pats over the Fins

Broncos pull it out over “THE RAIDERs” (In a Chris Berman voice)

In closing, I know some of you may read this and think to yourself that this was the dumbest article you’ve ever read. But to those who shoot the bull around the water coolers, at the lunch table, or where ever you talk about the games from Sunday and talk smack. This one is for You!


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One Response to “Lunch Time Smack Talk – NFL Picks For Week One”

  1. vikingman62 says:

    Matt The stuff that you print sometimes is just unreal
    shouldnt you be coaching Pop Warner or something