32. St. Louis Rams 0-4 (preseason ranking: 24)
It’s hard to play football without an offense.
31. Cleveland Browns 0-4 (31)
Name one reason why a single member of this organization should feel anything but dread about going to work for the next four months.
30. Oakland Raiders 1-3 (32)
29. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 0-4 (26)
Raheem Morris is looking like the first true example of a super young head coach who simply isn’t ready for the position.
28. Kansas City Chiefs 0-4 (30)
On paper, they’ve been semi-competitive in about half their games. But the reality is this team isn’t close. And have we ever seen a head coach lend less support to his new franchise quarterback in the first month?
27. Detroit Lions 1-3 (29)
For whatever reason, Football America has decided to look really hard for the positives in Detroit this year. That’s fine, Matthew Stafford and Calvin Johnson will reward the optimism every now and then.
26. Buffalo Bills 1-3 (21)
That fast ticking sound you hear is Terrell Owens. Don’t worry, though. The offense is hopeless enough that he may not explode, but instead, just peter out.
25. Carolina Panthers 0-3 (20)
Everything about this team is predictable and straightforward.
24. Tennessee Titans 0-4 (18)
It’s just not going to be their year, but it’s impossible to picture a team quitting on Jeff Fisher. They’ll play proud and be tough.
23. Washington Redskins 2-2 (17)
They’re like a semi-pretty girl who is sporting an ugly haircut.
22. Miami Dolphins 1-3 (16)
The Dolphins lead the league with an astounding 183.5 yards rushing per game. More evidence for my theory that running the ball really might not matter in pro football.
21. Seattle Seahawks 1-3 (13)
Don’t you get the feeling that we’ll never truly see Matt Hasselbeck again?
20. Arizona Cardinals 1-2 (19)
This has to be the most un-hyped Super Bowl loser in NFL history.
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