Gridiron Gab Columnist Brant Hougton Sits Down w/ Dan Marino

Yeah, it’s true, Dan Marino is the not only the greatest quarterback of all time, but he is also the jedi master when it comes to leading his team to comeback wins.

All these years some people everybody believed that John Elway, the great quarterback of the Denver Broncos, was the King of Comebacks.

Well, it turns out that the only way that Elway is the king of comebacks is if you count the number of times when the Broncos were tied going into the fourth quarter. Usually, a comeback win is defined by your team being down going into the final quarter, and even then he is not king, because Dan leads him 36-34!

Meanwhile, the Dolphins stats gurus are totally laying down the law, even on Marino, and only counted the number of comebacks where the Dolphins were actually down going into the fourth.

Marino leads Elway 51-49 in terms of all-time comebacks.

I have one question? Is the NFL looking into this? This could be one of the all-time biggest conspiracies in Miami Dolphins history, and maybe the Broncos as well. This whole time, just about everybody thought that Elway should be in the Hall of Fame simply because he was the “King of Comebacks”. Well, guess what all of you inglorious Elway lovers, my boy, Dan “The Man” Marino has taken that Comebacks title, and has proceeded to shove it so far up your butt, that you will get a first hand taste of that Comebacks title, and what it really feels like to be one of the owners of the Comebacks title!

We had the chance to sit down with Dan, and ask him a couple of questions on what he thinks about the ComebackGate.

Brant Houghton: What are your feelings on this sudden outbreak of information?

“The Man”:
I always knew I was the best quarterback out there, and to add to my legacy means a lot, because it not only adds to mine, but takes away from Elway’s legacy as well. Hehe!

BH: Are you angered at Elway, and his crooked stat guys?

TM: You can bet your butt I am. All those years I was leading the Dolphins back from basically the depths of hell, and Elway just turns out to have his career defined by one drive that did not even win the Super Bowl, and all of a sudden he is the Comeback King? That’s total bullcrap, and something needs to be done about this. I’m personally looking for a suspension from Roger Goodell. He needs to start cracking down on the retired players too. Who says NFL alum do not break the law, and embarrass the NFL too?

BH: What kind of suspension?

TM: I’m talking about a full-blown suspension man. Something that he would be totally embarrassed by. He needs to hold a press conference, and announce that he is not the Comeback King, and tell everyone to bow down to Dan “The Man” Marino. Oh, and if he could send out a tweet saying that too, that would be great!

BH: Wouldn’t that be a fine of some sorts?

TM: Whose side are you on anyways? Maybe you should bow down to “The Man” as well, and make me a sandwich!

BH: Shouldn’t that be Elway’s job now?

TM: Yeah, it should be! Nice idea! Jooooooohhhnnnnnnn!!! I want a peanut butter and marshamallow, with that extra crunchy peanut butter with the actual peanuts in it, oh, and I want it on a bun too, not bread, oh yeah, and could you maybe put some ketchup chips in that? I’m a sucker for those babies!

BH: Oook, thanks for your time Dan.

TM: Anytime, by the way, I’m thinking about coming back to the Dolphins, but they told me no, so I’m gonna join the Jets, and make the Dolphins pay that they ever said to no to Dan Marino!

Hmm, sounds a lot some 40 year old quarterback who did that a couple times, who broke a couple of Marino’s records.

I really feel for Dan. After all of these years, even though he still did make the Hall of Fame, he still could have been known as the quarterbacks of all quarterbacks. Before there was some reasonable arguments against that fact, now there are none other than that Dan did not win a Super Bowl. And screw that, Dan was the most prolific passer of all time, bar none. I could care less about Brett Favre, he played forever, and had some pretty good all-around teams throughout his career. Sometimes Dan had to make a good season out of nothing, that was something that Brett had trouble doing throughout his career.

As for Elway, and his mafia type stat guys the way they go around cheating people, you may deserve to be in the Hall, but you are not the Comeback King, and for that, your legacy is diminished. You were known for “The Drive”, and therefore, were thought of as “The Man” in the fourth quarter, when really Dan was “The Man” at just about everything in the game of football, including the fourth quarter drives.

So I would like to thank Scott Kacsmar, of Pro Football Reference, for actually challenging the football gods, and doing some actual work for once. It’s not often you see people do stuff like this. It’s not often that you see people defy the football greats, and say that no sir, you are not the All-Time Comebacks Leader, he is.

Kudos to Scott for discovering this. Oh, and by the way, in case you thought the interview with Dan “The Man” was real, it wasn’t, it was just sarcasm. Sorry!

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