A Bengals Fan Speaks Out to Steeler Nation

A Letter To Steeler Nation:

Steeler Nation,

First off, congratulations on winning your sixth Super Bowl Championship. I trust it still rests comfortably atop your collective mind. Secondly, I must say, I admire your obsession with your team. A Steeler fan seems always willing to display his or her loyalty anywhere in the world, at times creating awkward, even socially-damaging effects, yet one carries on undeterred.

And, thirdly, it is impossible to call you a group made up largely of bandwagoneers because you’re rarely absent from the playoffs and it’s hard to lose fan support when the team always wins. So there you have it.

Now, with all pleasantries aside, it’s time to speak of your team’s identity. What the universe should agree upon is that the Steelers are made up of defense and a running game—any dumbbell knows that. However, let’s not pretend that a central characteristic to your team’s success is not deception. Within the past six years, the Steelers have been the experts at the ol’ trickeration, often times at the Bengals’ expense–most notably in the dreaded playoff game of 2005; a play that sealed the fate of the Bengals’ season and still causes the venom to rise in the mouths of bitter Who-Deyers today.

And your defense is run by a man who predicates his whole philosophy on the slight-of-hand. One could produce an entire college thesis on the deceptive strategies of Dick LeBeau’s defenses. He’s always one step ahead of the league because he continues to trick everyone.

My beef, Steeler Nation, is that you assume that what you see unfold every year is due to sheer strength and determination, when there is something more cunning there, more conniving. I’m not at all saying that you’re dirty, I’m saying you’re sneaky. You want a sheer muscle team who socks you in your mouth? Try Baltimore. Pittsburgh will outsmart the Ravens, yes, but that doesn’t mean you’re tougher.

A feeble Bengals’ fan like myself has no defense to your many, many championships and your apparent sheer awesomeness. You need not even look in our direction when we simpletons from Southern Ohio & Northern Kentucky exercise our underdeveloped vocal chords about how maybe you’re the evil genius who wins in the end rather than the muscle-bounded hero everyone else was rooting for. That’s why we don’t like you, Steeler Nation; you’re Iago, you’re Gargamel, you’re Skeletor. I’d rather not face it either; I don’t blame you, but you suck. You must at least acknowledge, someday, and hopefully soon, that you suck.

Best of luck this season. Go jump off a cliff, just as soon as you can. I truly despise you. Hugs & Kisses.

Sincerely,

B. Clifton Burke


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11 Responses to “A Bengals Fan Speaks Out to Steeler Nation”

  1. Jessica Porco says:

    Dear Mr. Clifton Burke,

    What a truly pathetic, Cincinnasty waste of webspace….so the Steelers can outsmart the Bengals & Ravens…but the Steelers are not really the better team all around? Why don’t you stop hating on teams that are better than yours and start trying to build up yours? Perhaps Cincinnati should stop employing felons…and start employing people who actually care about the game of football, rather than changing their last name to the spanish numbers 8 and 6 just to get attention (truly pathetic). Pittsburgh would never put up that crap.

    So dear Mr. Bengals fan…make every excuse you can….but you should not just hate the Steelers….you should hate every team that puts the Bungals to shame every year….WHO DEY? I can answer that for you….everyone except the lions..and thats on a good day.

    Us Steelers fans do not need your luck, the Bungals are a joke…so thank Chad Johnson for me–his interviews are always so intelligent. TJ left….wonder why?

    STEELERS NATION.

    With love,
    Jessica R. Porco

  2. Me says:

    Steeler Nation ignores you. You don’t have the floor. We’ve got better things to do than listening to a pompous psuedo-slick Bungal backing bigmouth like yourself, Mr. B.Losin

  3. John says:

    Who’s drafted better? Whoever drafts the best, wins championships in the NFL.

  4. James Kelly says:

    I liked it! I thought your piece was well written, largely accurate, and humorous as heck. Btw, It’s sad to admit (cause it reveals my age:<), but I rooted for the Steelers in the pre-Chuck Noll days…back when the black % gold invented the word ‘futility.’

    Now I’ll happily roll my wheelchair up a clip and off it. Btw2, good luck to you and the Browns against the Ravens;<)

  5. mr.r8dr says:

    SINCE WHEN DID OTHER NFL TEAMS GET THE RIGHT TO USE RAIDER “NATION”! THIER IS ONLY ONE NATION AND THATS RAIDERS NATION. I KNOW OUR TEAM HAS SEEN BETTER DAYS BUT WE ARE STILL THE ONE AND ONLY NATION IN ALL OF SPORTS! BEWARE BEFORE AL SUES U!

  6. Marc Berry says:

    Real Men of Genius: Bengals Fans
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6Dh3I9DkZ0&amp;

  7. David Rooney says:

    Trickery. Pretty funny.

    What does that say about the beloved New England Patriots then? At least the Steelers play between the goal posts. It’s what we don’t know about the extent of Belechick shenanigans that wonders why this guy goes to this ‘card.’ But I understand your angst.

    Casey Hampton trickery? James Harrison trickery? Ben blowing up the pocket only to improvise his arse into something just short of magic?

    That sounds like true grit. And banging on the Godfather for utilizing unbelievable team speed to attack an opponents weakness is trickery?

    Okay. Have it your way. Something tells me you never traded equities. Stay away. You have your head handed to you. That’s business.

  8. Ben says:

    Wow, a rare glimpse into the culture of failure that is Cincinnati. I drove through your city once, and I must say, the signs that read “Welcome to Kentucky” were a welcome sight.

    You come off as extremely bitter, and I don’t blame you. The Bengals have been the joke of the NFL for the better part of 20 years. I think you’ve had 1 winning season in 17 years. 1 playoff appearance. How did that go? Oh yeah…

    I can see why you feel the need to take out your frustration on the Steelers. After all, we’re the antithesis of Cincinnati. The Steelers are, perhaps, the best run team in all of sports. Certainly the best in Football, as our 6 Super Bowl trophies can attest. The Bengals are one of the absolute worst. It seems your front office doesn’t have the slightest clue as to how to build a franchise. Signing knuckle-head after knuckle-head, criminal after criminal. Like I said, it’s a culture of losing – a cycle that seemingly cannot be broken. The Bengals have no concept of what it means to run an organization with class, dignity and respect. It seems your front office is oblivious to words like “character” and “team-building”, instead opting to draft talented, high-risk, low-character players. How’s Odell Thurman doing nowadays? Did you guys even wait until Chris Henry was released from prison to re-sign him?

    What I don’t understand about your article is why you chose to assault our scheme and style of play. I realize your coaching staff is as abysmal as your front office, if such a feat is even possible. It starts at the top with Marvin Lewis, who has admitted to desperately trying to imitate Mike Tomlin and try to instill his virtues in your locker room full of thugs. Goodluck with that, Marv.

    I’ve never heard anyone complain (see: whine) about deception or trickery on the football field. I realize your defensive coordinator isn’t fit to hold Dick LeBeau’s clipboard, but surely he (and you) can recognize the value in disguising a blitz. Then again, after recalling how your defense has played in recent years, maybe he doesn’t.

    As for Baltimore, we enjoyed defeating them three times in one season – culminating in a tough victory in the AFC Conference Championship. However, that is a franchise I have respect for – as much as I dislike them. They do things the right way and know how to win. Perhaps someday, in the distant future, Cincinnati will make it back to the playoffs, and we’ll have the pleasure of ending your Super Bowl dreams once again. Here’s hoping!

    Sincerely,
    Ben

  9. Another Cincinnati Fan (Not sure why!) says:

    Cincinnati and Pittsburgh Fans:

    As a long suffering and eveidently mentally-disturbed Bengals fan, I hate the Steelers, and probably always will…But I have to respect their success. Given that both franchises are family-owned and play in small markets, one can see that both teams face many of the same challenges…Yet one has been a league door mat while the other has been (as much as I hate to admit it) the best franchise in football for over thirty years.

    Bengals fans, what can we say? We’ve been to two Super Bowls twenty and twenty eight years ago, and we were beaten both times by a 49ers franchise that had Bill Walsh. The same man whom Paul Brown had on his Bengals staff in the 1970s as QB and Offrensive coach but whom he did not respect enough to keep. Hard to blame Pittsburgh for that.

    As for Steeler’s derfensive guru Dick Lebeau, well let’s see…Oh yeah, he once was the Bengal’s Defensive Coordinator and then even their Head Coach…Hmmm…Can’t see how the Steelers are responsible for that either.

    And I don;t suppose anyone remembers that Cincinnati once drafted QB Steve Young or once traded MLB Bill Bergy? Was that Pittsburgh’s fault again?

    I’ve watched the Bengals since their first season…I remember QB Greg Cooke…And I have to say it’s been a history of would have, could have, should have…But that’s Cincy’s history. And it’s Bengals fault. No one else is responsible.

    Cincinati Fans, those few of us that are left, let’s be honest…The Steelers are not our team’s problem…Our team ownership is our team’s problem. Always has been. Don’t waste time trying to fight for respect from Steelers Fans…You won’t get it, nor should we, not at least until at least our team wins a few championships of its own.

    If that ever happens.

    So Cincy fans, go ahead and hate the Steelers, as I certainly do…But respect them. Admit that for all their arrogant behavior, Steeler fans have a RIGHT to be arrogant…Like the man said, it ain’t bragging if you can back it up.

    Cincinnati Bengals – The future is up to you.

  10. WHO DEY Nation says:

    “Perhaps Cincinnati should stop employing felons…and start employing people who actually care about the game of football, rather than changing their last name to the spanish numbers 8 and 6 just to get attention (truly pathetic). Pittsburgh would never put up that crap.” – Jessica R. Porco

    Dear Ms. Porco,

    First off, its not 8 & 6, its 8 & 5…moron! Secondly, Pittsburgh DID put up with that…let me remind you, your Super Bowl MVP was arrested for pot possesion (later discharged but arrested for having it, none-the-less). So before you go on about things you do not know, take time to remind yourself of the facts…but then again, dont let facts get in the way of a stupid rant!

  11. Ben says:

    Santonio Holmes was charged with a misdemeanor, not a felony. He was also racially profiled and the case was accordingly dismissed. The Steelers staff did not wait for a league mandated penalty, opting instead to suspend Holmes and handle the matter in-house. He sees how much he hurt the team and I doubt he will have any future problems.

    The last “knuckle-head” on the Steelers roster was Plaxico Burress, and they didn’t even try to resign him. Many criticized the Steelers for doing so, but Burress has proven them right with his off-the-field actions.

    Your argument doesn’t hold a lot of water. The Steelers simply do not put up with habitual jackasses. To argue otherwise is foolhardy.