Last year, during halftime of Super Bowl XLII, I received a text message from my sister. It read: I’m at a SB party and some girl here is acting like she’s a way bigger Pats fan than she really is. It’s pissing me off.
All I could do was smile.
“THAT’S why I’m watching alone,” I texted back.
Most people, when they find out I watch the Super Bowl alone, pity me. They find it sad. They never seem to believe me when I tell them that I choose to watch alone because I love watching alone. I watch most of my football alone. It enables me to follow the game closely, which helps me do my job. I also already enjoy the games as much as possible. So any additional company could only downgrade my enjoyment. After all, you can’t top perfection.
I understand the value of enjoying football with friends. But it’s not for me.
I’m always shocked by how people assume that, because the Super Bowl is the biggest game of the year, I’ll choose to suddenly change my style and watch it at a party with a big group. Why would I change for the biggest game? Are the Steelers going to suddenly switch to a 4-3 defense on Sunday?
Let’s say I do attend a Super Bowl party this year. Think of everything I’d have to deal with. First, there would be the fake fans like the one my poor sister encountered last year. There’s nothing worse than fake fans. They’re easy to spot. For starters – no offense ladies – fake fans are usually female. If they paint any part of their face – say, a little black and gold Number 7 on their cheek for Ben Roethlisberger? – or wear a pom-pom under a hat to make their hair look like the color of their “favorite team,” they’re almost certainly a fake fan. Fake fans are the ones who love their team but can’t name the head coach. Or, they’re the ones who suddenly love a team simply because they think they have a reason to hate the other team. (I love the Steelers because my ex-boyfriend is a Cardinals fan!)
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