I’m going to do everyone a favor by posting the cliff notes for all the NFL news coming from the organized team activities during May. Read these bullet points here and you are guaranteed to be updated on all 32 teams.
**(Insert name of player) is in (insert name of warm weather state) working out on his own. (Insert name of player) is reportedly unhappy with his contract situation. Not to worry, though, because while (insert name of player) is threatening to sit out the season, it should be noted that absolutely no player in this era has ever actually sat out a season.
**Coaches said that (insert name of player) is recovering well from (insert name of surgical procedure). Team doctors say that (insert name of player) is either right on schedule or ahead of schedule and is just focused on being ready come either training camp or the regular season.
“Right now, (insert name of player) is working hard, doing everything the trainers tell him,” said (insert name of coach). “He’s in here every day, doing some light drills:he’s a warrior, he wants to get back on the field, and we expect to have him this season.”
**(Insert name of team) has been installing a new system during mini camp. The system is expected to solve all their problems because it is a.) simpler and more player friendly, b.) more aggressive, and c.) absolutely better than anything the team ran last year.
**Players are familiarizing themselves with (insert name of new coach). Learning the coach’s new scheme and acclimating themselves to his modus operandi has been a chore – right now, there’s just a lot to take in – but so far, everything is going great. The new coach brings a lot of energy and enthusiasm. The players are just staying focused and are excited about the opportunities that lie ahead.
**So far, (insert name of coach) has been impressed with (insert name of rookie). The young guy is showing an eagerness to get on the field and is learning a lot from the veterans and coaches. In fact, it’s amazing how much better (insert name of rookie) is than everyone expected. Of course, when he screws up, he just shows how determined he is to learn the more complicated NFL game. “They put a lot on your plate,” said (insert name of rookie). “I’m just working every day and trying to pick up as much as I can right away. I’ll be ready. I’m thrilled to be here. This is the perfect situation for me.”
**(Insert name of coach) is thrilled with the participation rate at the OTA’s this year. The team has had much better participation than last year. As for the players who aren’t here, it’s no big deal because these workouts are not mandatory, and the coaches have been in touch with those players anyway. But what’s important is who is here and how they’re building a rock-solid chemistry with their teammates – chemistry like nothing this franchise has ever seen before.
**Finally, (insert name of player) is excited about where the (insert name of his team) is headed this year because a.) they brought in a lot of new guys who can help out, b.) a lot of the young guys from last year have improved, c.) they have a lot more veteran leadership now, and everyone is working hard this offseason, d.) the players are all more comfortable in the system now that they have experience with it (or they’re thrilled with the new system), and e.) last year, the team struggled with injuries, but now, it’s reasonable to assume that everyone will be healthy from here on out.
Pro football news in May:.you gotta love it.