Maybe it was just an “off” night. Yeah. That’s it. Maybe T.O. wasn’t running his routes fast enough. Maybe the Eagles defense was just well prepared. Or maybe: the curse is real.
I’m not one to buy in to all the hocus pocus, but something can be said for the singing starlet’s effect on.. well, pretty much everything she touches.
Her record sales.
Her cosmetics line.
Her “acting” career.
Her marriage to Nick Lachey.
Her relationship with John Mayer.
Her relationship with Dane Cook.
Her relationship: with.. well, anyone for that matter.
The evidence speaks for itself. The demise of her marriage to Nick Lachey was blamed largely on the overexposure they received with MTV. Her last record tanked in the music stores. Her clothing line was a total wash since she hardly took the time to promote it. Her cosmetics line “Dessert” was a bigger hit with sugar addicts than it was with make up connoisseurs. And her two latest film collaborations are heading straight for a video rental shelf near you, completely bypassing the whole theatre thing. Must be Oscar winners. Maybe even a Razzie!!!…
But lately, it seemed the daughter of Murphy’s Law had stumbled upon some good luck. She’s reuniting with her Dukes of Hazzard co-star Willie Nelson and making a country albumâ€””returning to her southern roots” as she calls it. Her shoe and accessory lines are doing rather well with retailers. Hell, even I will admit to owning a pair of shoes:or five. And now it seems the beauty has found her Prince.
Tony Romo was just your average dude. He was that goofy kid that was always smiling, that just so happened to throw a football well. He wore the number 9, for his favorite character from his favorite movie, Roy Hobbs in The Natural. Cute, right? Then one day, that same goofy kid became the starting quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys. And just like that: the Cowboys had found their own Wonderboy. The people of Dallas rejoiced in his name, as the coming of Romo was hailed a new era in Cowboy football. It wasn’t long before his talents attracted some of the hottest women Hollywood has to offer, the latest of course being none other than the aforementioned Miss Simpson.
Simpson took her rumored beau, Dallas Quarterback Tony Romo home to meet the fam at Thanksgiving. The two seem to have really hit it off as they have been spotted together numerous times since.
So it’s only appropriate that they make their relationship public at only one of the biggest games of the season, Dallas vs. Philly, with huge play-off implications (and home field advantage) on the line. I mean, love is in the air and everything is perfect. What could possibly go wrong?
Dallas’ boy prince went 13 for 36 passing, 3 interceptions, and 4 sacks in a 10-6 loss to the Philadelphia Eagles on Sunday. He didn’t just play poorly.
He straight up sucked.
A good friend of mine calls it the “Hey Mom!” Effect. Sounds scientific doesn’t it?… However, the “Hey Mom! Effect” seems to have some real clout. Remember when you were younger and were playing hoops with your buddies and nailing three pointers like it was no one’s business???.. Yeah?.. Well, remember what happened when you finally got your mom’s attention, and she watched you attempt to demonstrate your skills??.. Sure you do. You choked. It’s the guys’ natural desire to prove his skills and athletic abilities to impress the female in his life whom he cares about. And when that lady is no longer a mother, but a significant other???… Well, the “Hey Mom! Effect” is magnified to the Nth degree. Animalistic??.. Sure. But we are talking about male athletes here, people. He’s supposed to be a PROFESSIONAL athlete, but a male is still a male: regardless of his occupation.
Cowboy fans have witnessed a similar scene before: A beautiful blonde A-lister wearing a number 9 jersey, sitting in a pressbox as she cheers on her man to his worst playing stats of the season. Then it was Carrie. Now, it is Jessica. The good people of Dallas recognize the pattern. And they are NOT happy.
The Natural may be his favorite movie, but clearly Romo’s never read the book. While I won’t go so far as to spoil the ending or do some highschooler’s book report for them, I will say this: Things don’t end so well for Mr. Roy Hobbs in the end. And his downward spiral: well, it all started with a girl.
“I got a hunch that girl’s a curse,” said Roy’s pop.
You’re damn right she is, Pop. You’re damn right.
So forget the chicks, and quit throwing picks Wonderboy!!!!
Until then, it’s ok Tony. Tomorrow begins a new week. Besides, Joey Harrington wishes he had your problems.