Cursing the Cowboys

Simpson disgusted with Romo

Maybe it was just an “off” night. Yeah. That’s it. Maybe T.O. wasn’t running his routes fast enough. Maybe the Eagles defense was just well prepared. Or maybe: the curse is real.

I’m not one to buy in to all the hocus pocus, but something can be said for the singing starlet’s effect on.. well, pretty much everything she touches.

Her record sales.
Her cosmetics line.
Her “acting” career.
Her marriage to Nick Lachey.
Her relationship with John Mayer.
Her relationship with Dane Cook.
Her relationship: with.. well, anyone for that matter.

The evidence speaks for itself. The demise of her marriage to Nick Lachey was blamed largely on the overexposure they received with MTV. Her last record tanked in the music stores. Her clothing line was a total wash since she hardly took the time to promote it. Her cosmetics line “Dessert” was a bigger hit with sugar addicts than it was with make up connoisseurs. And her two latest film collaborations are heading straight for a video rental shelf near you, completely bypassing the whole theatre thing. Must be Oscar winners. Maybe even a Razzie!!!…

But lately, it seemed the daughter of Murphy’s Law had stumbled upon some good luck. She’s reuniting with her Dukes of Hazzard co-star Willie Nelson and making a country album—”returning to her southern roots” as she calls it. Her shoe and accessory lines are doing rather well with retailers. Hell, even I will admit to owning a pair of shoes:or five. And now it seems the beauty has found her Prince.

Tony Romo was just your average dude. He was that goofy kid that was always smiling, that just so happened to throw a football well. He wore the number 9, for his favorite character from his favorite movie, Roy Hobbs in The Natural. Cute, right? Then one day, that same goofy kid became the starting quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys. And just like that: the Cowboys had found their own Wonderboy. The people of Dallas rejoiced in his name, as the coming of Romo was hailed a new era in Cowboy football. It wasn’t long before his talents attracted some of the hottest women Hollywood has to offer, the latest of course being none other than the aforementioned Miss Simpson.

Simpson took her rumored beau, Dallas Quarterback Tony Romo home to meet the fam at Thanksgiving. The two seem to have really hit it off as they have been spotted together numerous times since.

So it’s only appropriate that they make their relationship public at only one of the biggest games of the season, Dallas vs. Philly, with huge play-off implications (and home field advantage) on the line. I mean, love is in the air and everything is perfect. What could possibly go wrong?

Dallas’ boy prince went 13 for 36 passing, 3 interceptions, and 4 sacks in a 10-6 loss to the Philadelphia Eagles on Sunday. He didn’t just play poorly.

He straight up sucked.

A good friend of mine calls it the “Hey Mom!” Effect. Sounds scientific doesn’t it?… However, the “Hey Mom! Effect” seems to have some real clout. Remember when you were younger and were playing hoops with your buddies and nailing three pointers like it was no one’s business???.. Yeah?.. Well, remember what happened when you finally got your mom’s attention, and she watched you attempt to demonstrate your skills??.. Sure you do. You choked. It’s the guys’ natural desire to prove his skills and athletic abilities to impress the female in his life whom he cares about. And when that lady is no longer a mother, but a significant other???… Well, the “Hey Mom! Effect” is magnified to the Nth degree. Animalistic??.. Sure. But we are talking about male athletes here, people. He’s supposed to be a PROFESSIONAL athlete, but a male is still a male: regardless of his occupation.

Cowboy fans have witnessed a similar scene before: A beautiful blonde A-lister wearing a number 9 jersey, sitting in a pressbox as she cheers on her man to his worst playing stats of the season. Then it was Carrie. Now, it is Jessica. The good people of Dallas recognize the pattern. And they are NOT happy.

The Natural may be his favorite movie, but clearly Romo’s never read the book. While I won’t go so far as to spoil the ending or do some highschooler’s book report for them, I will say this: Things don’t end so well for Mr. Roy Hobbs in the end. And his downward spiral: well, it all started with a girl.

“I got a hunch that girl’s a curse,” said Roy’s pop.

You’re damn right she is, Pop. You’re damn right.

So forget the chicks, and quit throwing picks Wonderboy!!!!

Until then, it’s ok Tony. Tomorrow begins a new week. Besides, Joey Harrington wishes he had your problems.


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12 Responses to “Cursing the Cowboys”

  1. amanda says:

    omg this is so true. i knew she was bad news for romo and our cowboys

  2. Billy says:

    Tell Jessica to go find Nick and leave our pro bowl Quarterback alone. Lets hope she has a bad hair day or runs out of proactive during the playoffs because damn her man sucked it up and you could tell he was somewhere else but texas stadium sunday. Tell her Tom Brady is free or if she likes 80 year old men theres always Brett Farve.

  3. Roy says:

    Jenn Sterger is an envious bitch. She just wants Romo for herself and where would she be sitting if she were his girlfriend. Probably some fat ugly bitch anyway.

  4. so and so says:

    I BELIEVE THATS WHAT I HAVE BEEN SAYING SINCE SUNDAY!!!!

  5. Laura says:

    i 100% think she is a jinx. if i see her in the stands again i swear…haha (actually its not funny)

  6. Kristie says:

    yup, jessica simpson is bad luck. i believe it.

  7. Kristina says:

    I don’t blame Jessica necessarily but I still don’t like her that much. I mean she’s an ok person….but she’s a sucky actress and singer. sorry to upset u if ur a jessica fan.

  8. Jennifer says:

    I agree. This isn’t High school where the head cheerleader goes out with the quarterback….I live in Eagle country and it was hard to listen to the Eagle fans comments. Heck even when I came back with at least we are in the play-offs. I was told beating the Cowboys was their Super Bowl, at least the Cowboys have higher standards!!!

  9. SHERRI says:

    I don’t believe everyone is blaming her. Is he not allowed a bad day? Romo will bounce back and be fine. Big D will be in Arizona in February!

  10. Kailen says:

    If we’re seriously going to blame some pop singer on our Cowboys misfortune, why are we even watching the game. Tonys thumb and the attitude of our offense is seriously what kept us from 13-1. There is no luck involved when it comes to the hard working talented cowboys, and no ones fault but our own.

  11. Alonzo says:

    wow He got ate up for brining a little pussy with him to the game. LOL. I blame on a rival division team that was prepared to play football.They got their confidence up against New England, but it is too late for the eagles and the COWBOYS WILL BE JUST FINE.

  12. Russ Loede says:

    1st off: Roy ya’ gotta lay off Jenn… She does a Tremendous Job of Writing articles for the site and she is a Beautiful Looking Girl!

    2nd: Where can I Start Here… DALLAS Is GOING NOWHERE!!!!!!!! PHILLY’s DEFENSE Handed it 2 ‘EM – No excuses here, no if’s and’s & but’s about it! Not Romo’s thumb, Not Jessica, nor an off day was the reason, it was the PHILADELPHIA EAGLES DEFENSE and Dallas’ Overrated Team…

    Dallas is the MOST HYPED & OVERRATED/Overtalked about Team I Have Seen/Heard in Quite AWHILE! Dallas is 1 & Done in The PostSeason! They don’t know how 2 utilize their best RB Option in Marion Barber (Beast/Major Weapon) and their Defense is SHAKY @ Best!

    Dallas is a FLUKE!

    Green Bay will dismantle and take care of the Cowgirls!

    No way does Dallas make it to the SB, they will not win 1 game in January!

    Don’t know how 2 get the run game going, play pass defense, and play consistent enough to rep the NFC…

    They have a hard enough time in beating Buffalo and Detroit!

    Dallas – SORRY – I hand you the AWARD honorably for the Most DESERVING FLUKE Team in the NFL!

    CHOKE Time 4 Dallas

    It’s OVER! Get READY for next Season

    It AIN’T HAPPENIN’

    Big D is now Big Fluke because they are DONE!

    Last SUNDAY Was just a PREVIEW and small glimpse of what’s going to HAPPEN & WATCH The FALL that’s going to take Place!

    Russ